


Crimson in my veins

by kellsbells



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 18:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellsbells/pseuds/kellsbells
Summary: Kara is hit by Red Kryptonite in the middle of Supergirl's falling-out with Lena Luthor about Kryptonite. She slowly gets out of control, but the RedK releases something else in her, something she didn't know was there.





	Crimson in my veins

* * *

_“I don’t think of you while I’m doing them.”_

The words rang in Kara’s head as she flew at supersonic speeds through the air, somewhere over Greenland, trying to clear her head. She knew Lena was mad. Lena… well, she had reason. It was just that… seeing this new invention of hers, this screen that kept Reign from seeing out… well, it had shaken Kara. She trusted Lena implicitly, but for some reason her stupid fat mouth kept saying things, kept insinuating that Lena was working against her.

 

Okay, so Kryptonite hurt. But if the DEO hadn’t had it when the Kryptonians from Fort Rozz attacked, there might not have been an Earth left to save – at least not an Earth where humans were free. The pragmatic part of Kara understood that.

 

But… Lena had kept this a secret from her, from Kara and from Supergirl, this thing with Sam, with Reign. And Kara was a big enough person to acknowledge that Lena’s lack of trust in her _hurt._ But then, she didn’t have a leg to stand on, morally, she thought, as she traced the symbol on her chest. A symbol that meant so much to Kara, a symbol that Lena had looked at in disgust earlier that day.

 

Kara’s head snapped around as a noise caught her attention. Sirens, radio transmissions. There was a building at risk of collapse, a big one in the centre of National City. Kara turned and flew back home at almost her top speed, landing in front of the fire chief two minutes later.

 

“Supergirl, thank God,” he breathed, taking off his helmet and scratching at his thin, sweaty hair. “There are people trapped in there. Not only that, but if this building collapses… we calculate that it will take out the Luthor children’s hospital on the way down, among others.”

 

“What can I do?” she asked.

 

“For now, hold it up, until the brains tell me where it needs to be reinforced?” he asked, frowning. “In the meantime, my people will evacuate the people inside.”

 

She nodded firmly, jaw tight, and flew up into the air, checking out the building with her x-ray vision before selecting the best place to take the weight without inadvertently causing any of the building’s supports to buckle. She also had to calculate how much pressure to use, and the task took up most of her attention as she took the weight off the damaged joints of the building. It felt like a lifetime, but she held on, gritting her teeth, until the building manager and the fire chief called her down, asking her to weld some sections of steel together and reinforce the structure until it could be repaired. She did so, not noticing the woman in a deep, hooded robe in the background. She didn’t notice the burn of the RedK entering her system, and there was no-one close enough to see the blaze of red in her eyes or the red veins that momentarily crossed her face. She finished her work, feeling a little tired, and Kara Zor-El Danvers headed home to fill up on potstickers and Thai food until she passed out on the couch in her living room, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend playing softly on the television in the background.

 

The next day she woke up feeling far too hot, and a little pissed. She showered quickly, intending to head to Noonan’s before work to fill up on food and coffee, but she couldn’t decide on what to wear. She looked at the unappealing choices in her wardrobe, mentally rejecting the pinks and yellows and baby blues, and anything remotely resembling a cardigan. She took out a sleeveless top, black and silky, that clung to her and had made both James and Winn stutter and flush when she wore it to CatCo one day, and a pair of tight grey dress pants with a brown belt, finishing her outfit with heeled boots. She felt a bit better, then, her reflection looking more like the person she felt like in her head. She flew to the alleyway near Noonan’s where she usually landed each morning, hearing all sorts of cries for help but ignoring them. The city could police itself for a few minutes while she ate her breakfast. And there was James out there, him and Winn doing their Guardian thing, and J’onn. Kara Zor-El was off the clock.

 

She ordered a double breakfast special, smiling in as friendly a manner as she could when the barista asked teasingly if she was hungry.

 

“Sure, but this is for me and a colleague,” she said, shortly. She took the four lattes the woman supplied too, and smiled again, tilting her head in amusement as the barista froze instinctively, like a sheep sensing a predator. It made her feel powerful, and it felt right. She grinned outright then, and the woman stuttered, “It’s on the house, Ma’am.”

 

Kara nodded, accepting this as her due, and she left with a swagger in her step that hadn’t been there earlier. She flew to CatCo’s roof, sitting on the edge, legs dangling, her cape swept off to one side. She eyed her skirt distastefully. She loved Winn, she really did, but this skirt was just there to draw the male gaze to her long, powerful legs, and she wanted it gone. Like, now. She made a note to ask him later for a complete redesign, maybe something with a few extras, like a taser and some sort of lead reinforcements, just in case she ever came up against another Daxamite like their bitch queen. And it would be a nice deterrent for Mon-El, who still persisted in hanging around her like a bad odour. As if she wanted him now he was Imra’s sloppy seconds.

 

She finished her breakfast, biting angrily on the last piece of sausage and then grinning broadly at the symbolism. That would be a fitting end for the Daxamite, who clearly lived and died by his manhood. Without it, he wouldn’t have any purpose in life. He was a loathsome being, and she was ashamed and angered by her own past dalliance with him.

 

She headed into work, grabbing her assignments from Snapper silently and smiling as she turned away, noting the uncertainty on his face. She looked a little different, she knew, with the updo and the bare arms. But fuck it, she was tired of hiding who she was, her beauty and power. If she ever decided to unleash it, Snapper would probably have an aneurysm.

 

She made calls and chased leads, and was surprised when people immediately agreed to interviews or to give her the information she asked for, but she smiled, satisfied, when she thought of how surprised Snapper would be when she turned her articles in well ahead of schedule with multiple pieces of corroborating information and verified sources. Maybe then she’d get the raise and promotion she deserved. She’d been a stringer long enough; it was time for her to ascend through the ranks to where she really belonged.

 

Just before lunch she had a text from Alex, asking her to come in to the DEO. She sighed, finishing the first draft of her second article with a flourish, and then she slipped out into the stairwell to change. She used the conveniently-situated window to leave, smiling at the thought of Cat Grant, the woman who’d given her an office that was plainly meant for her to be able to disappear at a moment’s notice without being observed. The woman plainly knew who she was, but that no longer worried Kara. In fact, it felt… fitting. The Queen of all Media had acknowledged Kara as her equal, and that fact made her grin and heat build up inside her, somehow. She debated flying to DC to visit Cat, seized with a sudden desire to see her old mentor, but something insistent inside her was also telling her to go to the DEO, to get Winn working on a better suit right away, something more suited to the last Scion of the House of El. She flew into the building, not stopping to say hello to anyone, and she whooshed to a halt by Winn’s desk.

 

“I need you,” she said, shortly, grabbing him by one arm and practically dragging him to the room in a back corridor that held his workshop.

 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, one eyebrow up and his eyes wide.

 

“Everything’s fine,” she said, flatly. “I need a new suit.”

 

She outlined her needs, asking him to find some way to build in the Kryptonite shield he had built for her and Superman, and telling him to find Astra’s research for the Kryptonian’s own shields. “You can easily incorporate it into the micro-fibres in the suit,” she said, off-handedly.

 

“I can?” he asked, looking nervous and alarmed.

 

“You can,” she said. She stepped across the room to a whiteboard and wrote out several equations and a diagram of the chemical makeup of the fibres, showing him how to build in the radiation shielding.

 

“Oh, wow,” he said, his mouth falling open. “How… where did you find this?”

 

“Find it?” she asked, her lip turning up in annoyance. “I didn’t find it, I wrote it. I was the youngest person ever to be entered into the Science Guild on Krypton,” she said, a hint of a snarl in her voice.

 

He shrank back at her tone.

 

“I… I knew that, but you’ve never…” he coughed, his face reddening. “You’ve never done anything like this before, never showed any interest in the crazy science we do here.”

 

“That’s because it’s child’s play to me,” she said, dismissively, waving a hand in a gesture a lot like Cat’s.

 

“Oh. Okay,” he said, blinking rapidly. “I’ll get right on this, and it shouldn’t take me more than a week.”

 

She glared at him.

 

“Okay, 5 days.”

 

She glared harder.

 

“No, I can totally get it done tonight,” he said, in a rush. “I don’t need sleep, no sir, not me. Not when it’s for you.”

 

She smiled broadly.

 

“You’re the best, Winn,” she said, hugging him until his bones creaked.

 

“Thanks,” he said, looking puzzled and a little alarmed.

 

“Catch you later,” she said, before breezing out of the office and into the control room.

 

“Hey, you,” Alex said, looking up at her with a smile.

 

“Hi,” Kara said, offhandedly. Alex had been way too clingy since she broke up with Maggie. She needed to get laid, clearly. But she needed to spend time with someone other than Kara to do that; Kara certainly wasn’t going to do it for her. She looked at Alex, tilting her head consideringly, and amended that. She’d only help out if Alex asked really nicely.

 

Alex looked at her strangely.

 

“Lena is coming in. She has something for you,” she said, moving on.

 

Kara gritted her teeth at the thought of her ‘best friend’. A best friend who had Kryptonite, a best friend who built shields that Kara couldn’t see or hear through.

 

“Do you know what she has?” Kara asked.

 

“No,” Alex said, shrugging. “She wanted to give it to you personally.”

 

Kara nodded, feeling suspicious. Lena was a Luthor; she was capable of anything. This business with Sam had proved that.

 

One of the DEO’s guards came up to Alex then, saying something quietly into her ear.

 

“She’s here,” Alex said. “Teri will take you to her.”

 

Kara nodded, following the agent. Lena was standing in a small room, two guards waiting outside.

 

“Supergirl,” she said quietly. “It’s good to see you.”

 

“Hmm,” was all Kara said. “You have something for me?”

 

Lena gestured at a suitcase in the corner of the room.

 

“Fair warning, it’s Kryptonite,” she said.

 

“What?” Kara bit out, teeth gritted.

 

“Reign is growing immune to the Kryptonite. I have had to get creative,” Lena said, crossing her arms. “I had no choice. It’s stronger than normal Kryptonite, like a super-version. I advise you not to allow yourself to be exposed to it; it’s designed for her superior physiology. There’s really no telling what it might do to you.”

 

Kara growled deep in her throat. Lena was making even more weapons against her. And she called Reign superior. No-one was superior to her. She was the Last Scion of the House of El. Reign was a science project gone wrong. Kara was seized with an overwhelming desire to crush Lena’s head in her hands, to end the threat once and for all.

 

“Where did you get this?” she asked, voice dangerously soft.

 

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, her chin raised in defiance. Kara thought about the things she could do to that perfect white flesh to dissolve that defiance, to end the threat of this Luthor once and for all. And how, when she was finished, she could pay a visit to Stryker’s Island to end another threat. She snarled to herself.

 

“I mean, where did you get this super-Kryptonite,” Kara said, glaring. “Since you told me you used the last of Lex’s Kryptonite to restrain Reign.”

 

Lena took a deep breath.

 

“I lied.”

 

Kara moved closer to her, pacing around her in slow circles.

 

“You lied? About which part?”

 

“It wasn’t Lex’s Kryptonite. It was mine.”

 

Kara stopped directly behind Lena, looking through her skin into her insides, looking at the fragile skull and vertebrae and considering what she could do to her. If she severed her spine at the right place, she could leave Lena alive, but unable to move or even breathe on her own. She could watch the woman suffocate. The question was, should she do it with her heat vision, or just push a finger in there and wiggle it around and see what happened? The thought made her smile ferally.

 

“Your Kryptonite? From where?” Kara asked, voice sickly sweet.

 

“I worked out how to make it,” Lena said, voice beginning to tremble, perhaps sensing Kara’s train of thought. Kara noticed that the fine hairs on her arms and neck were standing up, and she chuckled deep in her chest.

 

“You did? How clever of you,” Kara said, moving closer, reaching out to touch Lena’s hair, to sweep it to one side, to run a finger down her exposed neck, tracing the fragile vertebrae. Lena shivered. “And this is your own recipe, I imagine. This super-Kryptonite?”

 

Lena nodded, swallowing. Each tiny sound she made was music to Kara’s ears; her heart speeding up, the blood whooshing through her veins. All sounds of pure, primal fear. And she should be frightened; Kara was ready to rip out her spine.

 

“Hey, did you see…”

 

Kara looked up, seeing Alex step inside the room, stopping suddenly with a confused look on her face.

 

“Um… did you see Winn?”

 

“He’s in the Winncave,” Kara said, absently, still touching Lena’s neck idly with a fingertip.

 

“Oh, okay,” Alex said, eyes narrowing. “So, Luthor. What did you bring?”

 

“Lena,” Kara drawled, “has been kind enough to bring extra-strength Kryptonite, made by her own fair hands, to share with us to fight Reign,” Kara said, nail digging into Lena’s skin slightly. Lena made a tiny whimpering sound.

 

“Oh. You… hang on. You said that you found the last of Lex’s stash. So what’s this?” Alex asked, crossing her arms. She seemed to forget the oddness of the scene as she glared at Lena suspiciously.

 

Lena coughed nervously. Kara blew on the back of her neck with a tiny bit of freeze breath, grinning as Lena shuddered.

 

“I brought it because Sam – Reign – was already growing immune to the Kryptonite I was using to restrain her before you all came to my lab. I made this myself to keep her contained until we figure out how to help Sam.”

 

“Sure,” Kara said. “It’s all totally innocent; of course it is,” she said, stepping around to look at Lena, smiling widely. “You would never betray me, not since we’re such good friends.”

 

Lena looked at her, eyes wide, her pulse thumping at her throat and temple. Kara smiled a little more when she thought about how she could end the Luthor with one thumbnail to the carotid; either in her neck or her temple. She would be unconscious in 30 seconds or less, if Kara did it right. She tilted her head, hawk-like, and Lena swallowed, hard.

 

“You made it,” Alex said, flatly. “So you lied about Lex leaving a stash behind?”

 

Lena nodded.

 

“I didn’t want you to think I was doing anything nefarious. I swear, I only wanted to help Sam. I never wanted to hurt Supergirl or Superman; if I did, I could have tried at any time. You know that.”

 

Alex glared at her, and Kara smiled.

 

“Of course, Lena. We know that. You wouldn’t do anything to betray me, or my cousin. Because otherwise I’d have to look at you like you were a threat, and I don’t think you would like the way that turned out at all.”

 

She reached a hand up, whip-like, and Lena flinched. Kara laughed quietly, patting Lena on the cheek patronisingly.

 

“Thank you for your help, Lena darling. I really appreciate it,” she said, voice low, almost purring. Lena reddened, looking confused and terrified.

 

That was probably enough for now, Kara thought. As long as the Luthor could see who was in charge. What Lena did next; well, that would determine whether she lived or died. Kara would wait, and she would watch, and if Lena stepped even an inch out of line, L-Corp would find itself short of one CEO. And Lena would find herself short of one head.

 

Lena watched her, eyes wide and nostrils flared, as she sauntered out of the room. Kara blew her a kiss as she left, and Lena swallowed again. Were those tears in her eyes? Delicious, Kara thought. If she did end up killing the Luthor, she’d see how those tears tasted first, she decided. She grinned as she swept through the DEO, heading for the skies. Snapper could wait; she was going for a drink.

 

She woke the next morning tangled up in sheets in an unfamiliar bed. There were two aliens in bed with her, one male and one female. She remembered flashes of the night before and grinned ferally. The male had an unusually large appendage, and the female was wonderful with her tongue. Kara enjoyed them both thoroughly; they had worshipped her body as she deserved, and she was benevolent in response. The three of them had had a grand old time. It was time for her to be gone, though, so she searched around for her clothes and dressed in a flash, heading back to her apartment for a shower.

 

She dressed with care, choosing a skirt and short-sleeved top combo that she vaguely recognised, but she paid it no mind. It made her arms pop and hugged her body tightly. No-one would be able to look away. She flew to the DEO before work, stopping only when she got to Winn’s lab, finding the finished suit hanging up. There were lead-infused bracers and greaves that fit neatly over the boots, boots that were a darker red than on her usual suit. She looked at the suit’s material with her microvision, finding the anti-Kryptonite threads woven in as she’d instructed. There was an EMP built into one hand and a super-charged taser in the other. She grinned to herself as she imagined anyone attacking her with alien weaponry again, or anyone who was impervious to her freeze-breath or heat-vision. Most beings were vulnerable to electricity at one voltage or another, and she intended to take advantage of that. Winn was asleep on his desk, a puddle of drool under his chin, and Kara patted him on the back, leaving a note of thanks. Winn was the best.

 

She worked hard the remainder of the day, stopping for food every so often, and she turned in both of her articles at the end of the day, three days early. As she did so, smirking at his surprised expression as he read her articles, she got a message.

 

_Had a horrible couple of days. Could use a friend. You around?_

It was Lena. Kara grinned ferally.

 

“Good work, Ponytail,” Snapper said gruffly, as he finished perusing the articles.

 

“Thank you, Lucas,” Kara said, politely. He looked up at her in astonishment. She’d never dared to call him anything other than ‘Sir’ before, much less use his first name. “And the name is Kara,” she said, grabbing his tie and lifting him slightly off his chair, before tightening the knot a little and brushing some lint from his shoulder. She let go of the tie and he sat down, hard, letting out a surprised huff of air. “I expect you to remember it from now on.”

 

He nodded warily, and she grinned back cheerfully. She went to her office to collect her bag and coat, and then went off to visit her friend Lena, whistling to herself.

 

She made her way from the elevator to Lena’s office, smiling at Jess as she went past. Jess nodded, a small smile on her face, and Kara’s widened. It had taken a while, but she’d broken through the ice princess’s frosty façade. The ice queen, of course, was waiting behind the door for her best friend. Kara put on her friendliest, most Kara-like expression, knocking on the door and adjusting her glasses in a show of nervousness as she stepped through.

 

Lena was sitting at her desk, one elbow on the desk, that hand in her hair, holding her head up. Kara bit her lip, thinking about how that hair had felt the day before, how silky and smooth it was. How delicate and sweet it smelled. Her mouth watered a little.

 

“Hey, you!” Lena said, smiling in relief as she saw Kara standing there. “You came.”

 

“Of course I did,” Kara said, smiling genuinely as Lena drew closer. They hugged, tightly, and Lena melted into her body. Kara shivered a little, heat building up inside of her. She resisted the urge to bite, just a little, at the sweet-smelling, pale neck in front of her.

 

“I missed you,” Lena said, and her soft breath tickled at Kara’s skin, making her shiver again. It was suddenly the only place she wanted to be, here in Lena’s arms, and she sighed in contentment.

 

“I’ve had the worst few days, and I just needed… to see a friendly face,” Lena said, burying her face in Kara’s hair.

 

“I’m here now,” Kara murmured, lips almost against Lena’s neck. She inhaled silently, taking in all of Lena’s scent. It was delightful, sweet and enticing. Kara found herself enticed, the annoyance of the previous day almost gone.

 

“Thank you,” Lena breathed.

 

They stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, until Lena sighed and moved back, wrapping her arms around her abdomen.

 

“I just… I really needed to see someone who didn’t hate me, or think I was planning to kill them,” Lena said. It was an effort for Kara not to stiffen at that.

 

“Why on Earth would anyone think that?” she asked, affecting a look of extreme surprise. She fiddled with her glasses again, remembering that she was being Kara Danvers.

 

“That’s a really long story,” Lena said wearily.

 

“Why not tell me over a portion of potstickers?” Kara suggested.

 

Lena smiled, a fond, genuine smile.

 

“What would I do without you?” she asked, eyes softening as she looked at Kara.

 

“Let’s not find out, okay?” Kara said, softly, moving towards Lena and taking her hand, thumb running over her knuckles comfortingly. Lena’s heart sped up a little at the contact, and Kara had to fight to keep a sly smile off her face. So it was like that, was it? Little Lena Luthor didn’t just drive stick. It was surprising, but Kara couldn’t say she hadn’t stared at those incredible breasts before.

 

“You okay with my place?” Lena asked, smiling up at Kara, the hint of a flush on those porcelain cheeks.

 

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” Kara said, sincerely.

 

“You’re my favourite,” Lena said, chuckling.

 

They went to Lena’s, being driven by a chauffeur, of course, and Kara resisted an eye-roll at the ostentatious show of wealth. They went to the 2-floor penthouse, and Kara sat demurely on one side of the couch, holding out a hand and patting the seat next to her. Lena came and sat down, sinking back into the comfortable cushions.

 

They ordered some food using Lena’s tablet, and then Lena sighed, and Kara lifted an arm in silent invitation. Lena leaned back on Kara’s shoulder, sighing again. Kara began to run her fingers through Lena’s hair soothingly.

 

Lena told her a version of what had happened in the past few days, including the surprising revelation that she’d broken up with James.

 

“He… he said some awful things about me. I heard them third-hand. And, combined with someone… someone I thought had faith in me making it clear that they don’t… it was just too much. I asked him to leave, and told him I didn’t want to see him again.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Lena,” Kara said, insincerely. “That must have been hard.”

 

“It wasn’t as hard as it should have been,” Lena said, shrugging. “I guess it wasn’t what I thought it was, between us. Otherwise I would be much more upset.”

 

Kara stroked Lena’s hair more vigorously, digging her fingers into her scalp, massaging with her nails.

 

“You deserve better than that. Better than him.”

 

“Mmm,” Lena said. “I don’t know. But the things he said – never trust a Luthor, telling people I was bad news – even if he has changed his mind, I deserve someone who at least doesn’t think I’m like my crazy brother.”

 

Kara made a soothing noise of agreement, and Lena relaxed a little more into her arms. Kara brought her other hand around to massage Lena’s upper arm, and Lena sighed.

 

“Thank you. For understanding. For being you,” she said.

 

“You’re welcome,” Kara said, kissing the top of Lena’s head. “I said I’d always be here, and I meant it.”

 

_Unless I decide to tear your spine apart…_

She ignored the thoughts in her head, letting herself relax with the soft, sweet-smelling woman in her arms. Whatever faults she might have, Lena Luthor was delectable. Beautiful in a way that Kara had seldom seen, with a mind worthy of a Kryptonian. She was a worthy mate, a worthy addition to the House of El. Kara wondered idly what Lena would look like in traditional Kryptonian wedding robes. Beautiful, she suspected. Luminous.

 

Lena sighed happily and Kara smiled, kissing her head again. She was glad Lena had texted her earlier. She needed this, the physical contact and the warmth of this woman in particular. The alien woman from last night was amazing; limber and strong and flexible. But Lena was soft and warm and she had a core of steel underneath. Kara felt herself grow possessive. She might have to correct her woman every now and then, but some part of her was determined, suddenly, to make this woman her mate. She smiled as the veins of red heated her skin.

 

They ate dinner together quietly, and afterwards Lena settled back into Kara’s arms, confident in the knowledge that her friend was on her side. Kara let her stay relaxed, let her be confident. There was time to make her talk later. Later, when she wasn’t so sweet-smelling and pliant against Kara.

 

Kara pulled Lena half into her lap, wrapping her arms around her friend. Lena stiffened at first, her heart speeding up, but she let herself relax again, and Kara found herself in a position she’d only ever dreamed of, before. Lena burrowed into her neck, her breath coming out in short puffs.

Kara tightened her arms instinctively, and Lena sighed.

 

“Thank you, Kara. I have missed you so much, these last few weeks. I’m so sorry I couldn’t take time out to see you.”

 

“Shh,” Kara said, kissing the top of Lena’s head again. “We’re here now. It’s all good.”

 

Lena nodded slightly.

 

“Still. I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too. You’re so important to me, Lena. I would never want to be without you.”

 

As Kara said it, she realised that it was true. Her homicidal impulses aside, her mistrust of Lena following the Kryptonite and the anti-Kryptonian tech – that meant nothing, in the long run. Her body wanted this woman, and her soul was singing at their close contact. Something in her was telling her that Lena was hers, was her soulmate. She sniffed at Lena’s hair, the predator in her calming.

 

“Kara?” Lena said, her body stiffening a little. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yes,” Kara said. “Why?”

 

“You just… you seem very… cuddly, tonight?”

 

“Did you not want me to be?” Kara asked, quietly.

 

“No, it’s… it’s not that. I just… is this… You know I have never had friends, before. But this feels… more than friendly.”

 

“And… is that a problem?” Kara asked, kissing Lena’s head again.

 

“I… it’s a little sudden, don’t you think? I just broke up with James, and… we haven’t seen each other for a while,” Lena said, nervously.

 

“I love you, Lena. I’ve never hidden that. And you said James didn’t mean as much as you thought. Did I misunderstand you?” Kara asked, voice soothing.

 

“No,” Lena said, sighing. “But I never… I mean, you were with that Daxamite, and I thought you were straight.”

 

Kara barked out a laugh.

 

“I’ve never paid any attention to antiquated notions like that. I love who I love, regardless of gender or race or even species. Is that a problem for you?”

 

Lena shifted uncomfortably.

 

“I just… I had no idea, Kara.”

 

Kara opened her arms and let Lena move if she wished.

 

“I’m not forcing you into anything,” she said, sighing. “I just… I thought it was time.”

 

Lena was stiff, but she stayed where she was, head against Kara’s shoulder.

 

“I love you too, Kara. I just… I didn’t expect this.”

 

Kara lifted Lena’s chin, turning her head so that they were looking into each other’s eyes.

 

“Is it an unpleasant surprise?” she asked, calmly.

 

Lena bit her lip, eyes intent on Kara’s.

 

“No,” she said, eventually. Kara moved, then, her lips an inch from Lena’s.

 

“May I?” she asked, but it wasn’t really a question. Lena nodded, nostrils flaring, and Kara moved that last inch. She kissed Lena, and Lena took a sharp breath, kissing back softly and then with more force. Kara reached down and shifted Lena’s body, turning her so that she was straddling Kara’s lap. She slipped her arms around Lena, one hand moving up her back and the other on her waist. The kiss deepened, slowly, and Lena’s hand tangled in the front of Kara’s shirt, and her other hand went to Kara’s hair. Kara growled a little as Lena pulled at her hair.

 

Lena made a tiny noise, almost a whimper, and she sank her teeth into Kara’s bottom lip. Kara slipped her tongue into Lena’s mouth, and things escalated from there. Kara’s hands began to wander, and Lena’s grip on her hair tightened. Just as Kara was about to touch Lena’s breast, Lena pulled back.

 

“Kara, can we… can we slow down, a little?” she said, breathing heavily.

 

Kara groaned internally. This was her mate; her body knew it and her heart knew it. She didn’t want to stop until she had truly claimed every inch of Lena Luthor as hers.

 

“What is it?” she forced herself to say, tone even.

 

“It’s… It’s a little fast, darling,” Lena said, pushing her hair back with one hand. “Not that this wasn’t… I mean. This… it’s amazing. You felt it too, right?”

 

Kara nodded solemnly.

 

“I just… I feel like… this could be something, something important, and I don’t want to rush it,” Lena said.

 

The fire within Kara dampened, and she nodded. It was true; mating with one’s soulmate was nothing to be rushed. Lena needed to be wooed, to be loved. To be shown her worth.

 

“I understand,” Kara said, nodding calmly.

 

“Thank you, darling,” Lena said, one hand flat on Kara’s chest. “I appreciate your understanding.”

 

“Of course,” Kara said, nodding.

 

Lena stayed in her lap and relaxed into Kara’s body again. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena, leaving her hold loose to allow Lena to move away if she wanted. Lena sighed happily.

 

They stayed in silence for a while, until Lena asked her a question.

 

“Kara, have you seen… have you seen Supergirl, recently?” she asked, tentatively.

 

“No,” Kara said, trying not to stiffen. “I haven’t. Why do you ask?”

 

“She… yesterday, I was bringing her something. Something to help with a case. I can’t really talk about the details, but… it was something that was meant to counteract a threat, but Supergirl – she’s seemed different, lately. She doesn’t seem to trust me anymore. The item I brought poses a threat to her, but I thought we were past the point where she thought I was nothing but a Luthor.”

 

“Do you think she has any reason not to trust you?” Kara asked, temper beginning to flare.

 

“Kara, how can you even ask me that? You are the one who sent her after me when my mother kidnapped me.”

 

Kara suppressed a growl at the thought of Lillian Luthor.

 

“Of course. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve known Supergirl a long time, and she usually has great instincts.”

 

“I guess,” Lena said, shrugging uncomfortably. “But… I thought we were past that, she and I. I thought she trusted me. I know that the thing I made – it could hurt her. But it was meant to deal with another threat, and to help a friend. I would never… could never, hurt Supergirl. She’s… she’s my idol. Or she was, I suppose, until she started treating me like the enemy. And yesterday – Kara, she scared me. I thought she was going to hurt me.”

 

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t go making your own Kryptonite, then,” Kara said sweetly.

 

Lena jerked upright.

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me,” Kara said, smiling coldly, tilting her head as she took in Lena’s expression.

 

“Oh,” Lena said, shaking her head. “Oh, no. You’re… you’re her?”

 

She jumped backwards, almost falling over the coffee table. Kara stifled a laugh.

 

“You lied to me,” Lena said, one hand on her mouth. “For two years. You pretended to be my friend, you made me feel at home. And now this? You try to seduce me, to… to what? To keep a closer eye on me?”

 

She backed away further until her back was against the far wall. Kara stood up, stretching languidly.

 

“I lied to you because I needed to be Kara with someone. I needed to be someone other than the saviour of the world, and you liked Kara Danvers for who she was. Not that it really matters, now. Because you’ve been working against me this whole time, and I let my optimism blind me to who you really are, Luthor,” Kara said, voice silky smooth. She moved closer to Lena, smiling broadly as Lena’s pulse increased, as her breathing sped up, coming in short pants, and she tried to back further into the wall.

 

“You know,” Kara said, conversationally. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were the one. My heart convinced me that you were my soulmate. Can you believe that?” she said, laughing. “I loved you, and you betrayed me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?”

 

She felt a burning in her veins, and Lena gasped.

 

“Kara, what’s wrong with you?” she asked, moving forward, arms out.

 

Kara grimaced.

 

“Don’t touch me, you filthy liar. You want to kill me. You want to destroy me and my cousin. We’re the last of our kind, and you would crush us under your boot, leave our planet to become dust. You’re a monster,” Kara snarled.

 

Lena stopped in her tracks. She took a deep breath.

 

“No, that’s not true,” she said, lifting her chin bravely. “You can kill me if you want, Kara. But all I’ve ever done is try to make this world a better place. I’ve tried to make up for my brother’s sins, and my mother’s. I’ve helped you as Supergirl so many times. And you, my friend, Kara Danvers. I’ve never, ever lied to you, as Kara Danvers. Do you know that? Never once, Kara. And I _didn’t_ lie to you before. The idea that you want me? It’s incredible. I think I fell in love with you that first day. When you smiled at me, when you told me that you understood what I wanted, who I was. A woman trying to make a name for herself, outside of her family’s shadow. I saw that you really understood, Kara. And from that moment on… I’m not afraid to say that I was smitten. I love you, Kara. And if you do want to kill me, if you want to get rid of this threat that you think I represent… I forgive you. I love you, and if that means dying for you, I will. Because you’ve made this last 2 years a happy time for me. You introduced me to friends, to people I consider family. You’ve made me feel content for the first time in years, since before Lex did what he did. So thank you.”

 

She stepped forward bravely, her chin up, and she touched Kara’s chest.

 

“I love you,” she said. “I love you, Kara.”

 

Kara felt a deep tearing within her, seeing Lena’s tear-streaked face so close to hers. She could hear Lena’s heart, and while it was pounding with fear, it hadn’t increased its pace while she said that she would never betray Kara, that she loved her. She was telling the truth.

 

Kara fell to her knees, red fire burning in her veins, clawing at her eyes, squeezing her heart. She put her hand over her eyes to stop her heat-vision from activating. She screamed as pain ripped through her abdomen, feeling like a blaze from within. She collapsed to the floor, retching, and at that moment someone crashed through the window, and the apartment door flew open.  
  
“FBI, get down!”

 

Lena, who’d been calling Kara’s name, had fallen to her knees in front of Kara, refused to move. She stroked Kara’s hair as she cried, screamed out her pain, and then suddenly it was gone. Kara collapsed forward, head on Lena’s lap, and she wept.

 

***

 

The next morning she woke to the familiar thrumming of the sun lamps, sending energy coursing through her body.  She opened her eyes to find Alex sitting next to her, looking at her in concern.

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked, stroking Kara’s hair.

 

Kara breathed out a sob.

 

“Did I hurt you? Did I… did I kill anyone?” she begged, tears streaming down the sides of her face as she stared up at the sun lamps.

 

“No, sweetie. You didn’t… well, you didn’t physically hurt anyone, I don’t think. Lena’s a little shaken up, to say the least.”

 

Kara covered her mouth with one hand, suddenly remembering what she’d done, how she’d acted. How much she’d wanted to kill Lena.

 

“Rao… she’s never going to forgive me. I don’t even… I don’t deserve it. I… I wanted to kill her, Alex. And then, later…”

 

“She told me,” Alex said, gently. “You latched onto her as your soulmate. Your heart wanted her, and without your usual principles and inhibitions, you went for it.”

 

Kara nodded, still sobbing. “I can’t… I’ve spoiled everything. I told her she was a monster, and I was going to hurt her, Alex. If you hadn’t arrived, when you did?”

 

“That’s not true,” Alex interrupted. “I arrived and you were screaming, the RedK dissipating from you in a cloud. I didn’t even have to fire the weapon, Kara. You pushed the RedK out yourself. Lena told you she wasn’t working against you, and that she loved you, and you got rid of the infection yourself. You’re so strong, Kara, and Lena knows that. She just needs a little time, to understand what happened to you, to get some distance from how much you frightened her.”

 

Kara sniffled loudly.

 

“How did you know?” she asked.

 

“You didn’t do your job,” Alex said. “I tried calling you to go on rescues or stop assaults and you didn’t reply. You didn’t even read your messages; you deleted the voicemails without listening. Winn checked your phone. Then he told me about the suit you made him make, and then there was that weird little scene I walked into when Lena dropped off the Kryptonite. I couldn’t honestly tell if you were going to kill her or fuck her. I put it down to fear; you had been acting suspicious of Lena anyway. But when I put it all together, I realised you hadn’t been yourself since that building almost collapsed in midtown. Sure enough, when I sent out a team, the whole place was laced with RedK, and Winn found footage of some woman in these weird robes watching you. We got a team ready, all with the anti RedK gun, but we didn’t need it. I know you probably won’t believe me, Kara, but I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong. You shouldn’t have been able to expel that substance on your own, but you did, and you did it to save Lena. I explained that to her.”

 

“She’ll never forgive me,” Kara said. “I wouldn’t forgive me. God, I was so horrible to her.”

 

Alex took her hand.

 

“I know. You weren’t horrible to me, this time, but… I think that’s because you went to the person who mattered most to you, and it seems like that’s Lena, now. You’ll always be my person, and I know I’ll always be yours, but Lena seems to have taken a different place in your life, now. When she’s ready, I think you need to be really honest, Kara. About which parts of all this were you, and which were the RedK. I think she’s a little confused now.”

 

“I can’t talk to her again,” Kara said, tears flowing again. “I can’t. I scared her, and it made me feel good. I thought about how I could kill her, and I was deciding about it when you walked into the room the other day. I was deciding if I should kill her fast or slow, Alex! What’s wrong with me?”

 

She started sobbing uncontrollably, and Alex stood up, pulling Kara up and into a hug. She murmured nonsense into Kara’s ears, hugging her close, and Kara let all of it go. She was a monster, and she couldn’t blame it all on the RedK. Those thoughts came from somewhere, and she couldn’t expose any more people to that.

 

When Alex let her go, and she was given a clean bill of health, clear of RedK, she retreated to her apartment, ordering in as many potstickers as her local Chinese restaurant could make, along with seven other dishes. In the meantime, she took two tubs of ice cream from her freezer, and stuffed herself silly with sugary, icy goodness. When her food arrived, she kept eating and eating until she passed out.

 

She woke to two Supergirl alerts, and she sent a brief message to Alex, simply saying she was recovering and could they send someone else. Alex reluctantly agreed. Kara ate more takeout and passed out again, all of the curtains in her apartment closed and the extra lock on her door engaged, so Alex couldn’t break in as she was wont to do.

 

The next day she did more of the same, lying in her pyjamas on the couch eating potstickers until even she felt a little sick. It was almost 10pm when she woke for a second time, calling the local restaurant again and ignoring the man on the other end sighing about ‘potsticker girl’. She didn’t bother to wash up or try to look clean or less dishevelled for the delivery man; they didn’t care what she looked like, only that she regularly cleaned out their stocks of potstickers, and though that meant she paid well, she caused them a lot of difficulty each time she called. She heard someone on the other end muttering about how the head chef had carpal tunnel syndrome. She still called almost every night after that.

 

This went on for a month and a half. Snapper fired her after a week of being MIA, despite James’ protests to the contrary, and Lena didn’t step in either.

 

Lena had dropped out of her life completely, and Kara didn’t blame her. According to Alex, they were meeting up for lunch regularly, and Sam and Ruby came up to visit for two weekends over the course of those six weeks. So Lena wasn’t withdrawing from her friends and she was actively working with the DEO. It was only Kara who she was avoiding. No, not avoiding. It was only Kara who she had cut out of her life completely. She’d changed her telephone number and moved to a new apartment with a panic room that the DEO had allowed her to reinforce with Kryptonite, as long as they had a kill switch. Alex had grimaced when she told Kara that, but Kara just shrugged. She was glad, because if she was ever hit with RedK again, she wanted Lena to be able to stop her. Hell, she didn’t care if Lena’s souped-up Kryptonite killed her, because she was a monster, and she deserved it.

 

J’onn was filling in, taking on Supergirl’s duties, and somehow he’d avoided having to use heat vision or freeze breath, since those were two of Kara’s abilities that he couldn’t emulate. But that excuse would only last for a while. Alex had told her that the DEO were planning to say that Supergirl had moved off-world where she had found other Kryptonians. Kara almost wished that were the case; at least if she was somewhere else in the galaxy, she wouldn’t be super-powered, and that meant that RedK shouldn’t affect her. The Reign issue was quiet – the WorldKiller had disappeared. Kara couldn’t bring herself to care about the woman’s whereabouts.

 

It was around 9pm when Kara had called the Chinese restaurant for the second time that night, having seen a news report about Lena’s newest technological breakthrough. She therefore began berating herself anew, and by the time she’d finished her first dinner, she’d cried so hard that she spent all the energy she’d used. The Chinese restaurant said they were closing early, though Kara could clearly hear people in the background still arriving and ordering food. So she sighed and called the second-best restaurant on her list, who promised to deliver within 20 minutes in return for a generous tip.

 

Kara heard a knock at the door, submerged in her misery, and she went to answer it, her hair greasy and bedraggled, her pyjamas stained with a variety of sauces and several pieces of noodle stuck to her bathrobe. The delivery guys were well used to her, now.

 

It wasn’t her food. It was Lena. Lena, who was holding a huge bagful of food, Kara noticed. But she was standing on Kara’s doorstep, and she didn’t look upset. She looked a little worried, her eyes taking in Kara’s dishevelled state.

 

“I intercepted the delivery man. He was muttering about ‘crazy potsticker lady’ under his breath. I gave him a big tip. If you’re not careful, someone’s going to realise that the crazy potsticker lady’s appetite is unnatural,” Lena said, her voice teasing.

 

“You can’t be here,” Kara blurted.

 

“Why’s that?” Lena asked, tilting her head gently.

 

“I hurt you. I… I was going to kill you.”

 

“You weren’t going to do those things. The RedK was.”

 

“Those thoughts, they came from me. You can’t be here. I could hurt you,” Kara said.

 

Lena swept past her and went to the kitchen, dishing up the food and putting a reasonable portion of potstickers on a separate plate.

 

“I have a feeling you’ve been overdosing on these, recently. Judging from how traumatised the delivery guy looked. So you’re on rations. No more than ten in one sitting, and at least two hours between sittings. You can’t eat your feelings, even if you do have a super-metabolism.”

 

Kara closed the door, leaning her forehead against it for a moment.

 

“Come on. It’s going to get cold.”

 

Kara shook her head before going to join Lena, sitting up on a bar stool next to her. She kept her head down, ashamed and disgusted with herself. She’d spoiled everything, and she had no idea why Lena was here. To rub it in, maybe. Kara certainly deserved that.

 

Strong fingers lifted her chin.

 

“You’re the Last Scion of the House of El. Don’t lower yourself for me,” Lena said, firmly.

 

Something stirred in Kara, a pride that lived deep inside of her, a pride in her House, in her name. She took a deep breath.

 

“I’m not worthy of that title. The House of El would expel me for what I did.”

 

“Even if someone drugged you into doing it?” Lena pointed out, taking a delicate bite from a sesame seed-coated shrimp.

 

“It doesn’t matter. The RedK just brought it out. Those were my thoughts; my desires. I’m unworthy of the House of El, and unworthy to protect humanity. From now on, Supergirl is dead,” Kara said, her voice lifeless.

 

“You listen to me, Kara Zor-El. You’re a person, and you are entitled to your feelings, to your innermost thoughts, and to your impulses. Bad or good. What matters is not having those impulses, to hurt someone or to do something bad. It matters what you do about them, and you have never acted on any of those impulses except when you are under the influence of RedK. So stop being ridiculous. You’re Supergirl, and National City needs that symbol of hope. The world needs it. And I need you, Kara. You’re my best friend, and I love you,” Lena said, voice ringing with conviction.

 

Kara looked up at her, startled.

 

“You can’t mean that. Not after everything. Not after all these weeks of cutting me out. Which I deserve.”

 

“I can mean it, and I do,” Lena said, calmly. “I’ll admit, I needed a little time to get used to the idea. And I did feel betrayed. At first. But I remembered what you said. You wanted to be Kara Danvers with me, and I know what the weight of a famous name feels like. I understand the need to just have someone who likes you for who you are, someone who ignores that name, or doesn’t know a thing about it. I can’t say I’m happy about it, Kara, but I meant everything that I said to you when you… when you told me who you were. I am your friend. I’d never betray you. And I love you, in whatever capacity you’re comfortable with. I don’t know how much of your… behaviour, was the RedK, so I’m not expecting anything from you. It might have been one of those impulses and you acted on it. I’m sorry, if that’s the case, because it means that I took advantage of you, without knowing. I didn’t know that you were on RedK, because I didn’t know who you were. I… I hope you can forgive me for that.”

 

Kara stared at her.

 

“No. No. I don’t… I can’t accept that. You can’t forgive me, Lena. What I did… it was horrible, Lena. I could have killed you, or I could have slept with you and Rao only knows what I would have done to you. I was evil and I said the worst things to you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and you can’t… you can’t love me. I won’t allow it. I’m worse than dirt. Supergirl is over and Kara Danvers is going to stay right here, where she can’t hurt anyone.”

 

Lena sighed, standing up. She moved forward, into Kara’s space. She pulled Kara’s head down abruptly and kissed her, hard. She didn’t let up until Kara was reciprocating, tiny whimpers coming out of her mouth.

 

“I love you. What you do with that… it’s up to you. Maybe you can’t forgive yourself, Kara, but I forgive you. You don’t have to accept that. I can’t make you. But I am going to be here, by your side, as long as you will allow me to be. Friend or lover, whatever you want. But I want you to promise me one thing, Kara. You need to see someone, talk to someone. Let some of that hurt and anger and pain out, because it’s bubbling out of you, making you suspicious and hurt.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Kara muttered, staring at her own hands, twisting together in her lap.

 

“You don’t have to do anything. Just… relax, Kara. Let’s finish our food and go binge-watch something. Why don’t you go have a shower once we’re done here, and change your clothes. And I’m going to need some pyjamas to sleep in,” Lena said, briskly.

 

Kara nodded dumbly.

 

They ate the rest of their food in silence, and Kara trundled off to the bathroom, showering and changing quickly and finding fresh pyjamas for her and Lena. Lena went off to the bathroom to change, and they settled on the couch to watch Killing Eve. Lena relaxed into Kara’s side, and Kara sat stiffly, unsure of what the hell was happening. Eventually, though, her emotional exhaustion caught up on her, and she fell asleep, barely feeling Lena wrap her arms around her, kissing the top of her head and speaking quiet words of love and forgiveness.

 

***

 

“Supergirl, try hitting him with your freeze breath in that middle eye. It seems like it’s sensitive,” Alex said, as Kara took another full-force punch and barely avoided shooting through the bullpen at CatCo.

 

“Okay,” Kara said, setting her jaw and flying back towards the beast. She’d never seen anything like him (or her, or they) before. Three eyes, ten or so limbs, and a mouth in the middle of its orange chest that shot out some sort of an acid spray that burned Kara’s skin and had almost killed a DEO agent. She blew out a thin stream of freeze breath, aiming for the middle eye, and the thing shrieked, making Kara’s ears vibrate. She followed up her freeze breath with a punch in between the three eyes, and the thing folded like a cheap suit.

 

“Thanks Alex. You were right on the money, as usual,” Kara said, quietly. “Do you guys need me to carry this dude to the DEO?”

 

“Nope, there’s a cleanup crew en route,” Alex said cheerfully. She had a date that night, with one of Kara’s colleagues. Amanda was sweet, hot, and had a bit of a thing for women in law enforcement. If nothing else, they should have fun together. Kara smiled.

 

“Okay, I’m signing off for now,” she said. “Call me if you need me.”

 

“Sure,” Alex said. “Good job, Supergirl.”

 

Kara smiled and headed back to her apartment. Work was already done for the day, and she wanted nothing more than a pizza and ice cream before bed.

 

She stepped inside and was surprised to smell food cooking. Lasagne, or spaghetti sauce, maybe. She closed the door behind her and scanned the apartment with her x-ray vision. Lena was in her bedroom, folding clothes.

 

“Hey,” Kara called out. “Lena?”

 

Lena appeared from the bedroom a moment later.

 

“Hey, you,” she said, eyes unreadable. “You’ve been busy, I heard.”

 

“Alex?” Kara asked.

 

“Alex,” Lena confirmed.

 

“You don’t… you didn’t have to cook for me,” Kara said, wringing her hands together.

 

“I know,” Lena said, calmly.

 

She’d been nothing but calm since that night, 6 weeks after the RedK incident. Kara didn’t know what to make of it. After everything, Kara had no idea how Lena could even look at her, never mind trust her, believe in her. Now she was here, in Kara’s apartment, making food like it was no big deal. Like they were best friends, still, or maybe even lovers. Kara stood there awkwardly, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

 

“Well?” Lena said, sounding impatient.

 

“What?” Kara asked, frowning in confusion. She pushed up her glasses, not looking up.

 

“Dinner’s almost ready. Go get washed up.”

 

“Okay,” Kara said, quietly. She moved to the bedroom, grabbing some fresh sweatpants and a t-shirt, and then she had a shower so quick that the water was only switched on long enough for her to lather and rinse her hair. She shook herself dry inside the shower cubicle and stepped out, putting on her sweats and stepping out of the room nervously.

 

“Come on. Eat,” Lena said, from the kitchen. She had set the table, and Kara went to sit down, tossing the salad at Lena’s direction.

 

Lena brought the lasagne to the table, shooing Kara when she offered to lift the pan in her bare hands. “That’s what oven gloves are for. Go sit down.”

 

Kara sat down reluctantly.

 

“So, you fought a three-eyed, ten-armed monster thingie. Do you know what it was? An alien, or a metahuman? Or something from one of those different Earths you told me about?” Lena asked, conversationally.

 

“I honestly have no idea,” Kara said, shrugging. “I’ve never heard of anything like it, not on any of the worlds I’ve visited. There are a lot of metahumans with all sorts of powers on Earth 1 and elsewhere. My friend Barry told me that there was even this guy who was half-man, half-shark. So maybe that thing was a metahuman.”

 

“Hmm. It looked like it didn’t go well, at first,” Lena observed, serving a heap of lasagne on Kara’s plate.

 

“No. He kicked the crap out of me,” Kara said, chuckling a little. “But Alex noticed he was wincing when I got near that middle eye. She told me to try my freeze breath, so I did.”

 

Lena shivered a little, and Kara shrank back into herself. Of course, she had used her freeze breath on Lena. Not to hurt, but definitely to intimidate.

 

“I told you to stop doing that,” Lena said severely. “You know that I forgive you. I’m just a little chilly,” she said, reaching around to take a sweater from the back of the chair and putting it on. “So what happened with the freeze breath?”

 

“It hurt him, and it gave me enough time while he was yelling his head off to punch him. That knocked him out, and the DEO came to get him, and that was that,” Kara said, shrugging. She started to eat the delicious-looking lasagne, sighing with happiness as it heated her up from the inside. She took a slice of garlic bread from the pile in the middle of the table and dipped it enthusiastically in the delicious sauce.

Lena smiled fondly.

 

“You like it?”

 

Kara nodded.

 

“It’s delicious. Better than Eliza’s. But don’t tell her I said that,” she said, mock-seriously.

 

Lena saluted.

 

“Aye-aye, Cap’n,” she said.

 

“Dork,” Kara said, snorting.

 

“Says the girl who cried when I rationed her potstickers,” Lena said, dryly.

 

“No-one should be subjected to that sort of treatment,” Kara said, sticking her chin out. “It’s inhumane. I’m pretty sure it contravenes the Geneva Convention or something.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

Kara shrugged.

 

“I love my food, what can I say?”

 

Lena just smiled slightly.

 

They finished their meal in silence, and Lena washed the dishes while Kara dried.

 

“I’ve been thinking. About some of the things you said,” Lena said, quietly.

 

“Please, Lena. I… I am so sorry. It was venom, all of it, and you didn’t deserve that from me.”

 

“Kara, please. Let me finish,” she said, sighing.

 

“Okay,” Kara said, dropping her head once again.

 

“I was thinking about what you said, about Krypton. About how people would rather crush you underfoot than let you live, the last two people of your kind. And I was thinking. Maybe there’s a way for you to make more Kryptonians.”

 

Kara stared at her.

 

“How would you… is that even possible?”

 

“I think there might be a way,” Lena said. “Either through mating, with a human, and making some changes to the DNA of the progeny, or perhaps some sort of IVF. Ideally, the… mating, would be a better option. Then there are two types of DNA, and it’s less likely that the child will be born with any illnesses or issues. But I suppose you could simply clone yourselves, for now?”

 

Kara shook her head.

 

“I would consider having children, and maybe changing their DNA a little to make them Kryptonian. I’m genetically engineered myself; I can hardly reject that idea out of hand. But Clark – he was the first natural birth in centuries. He wasn’t engineered to be perfect like I was.”

 

“I would love to look at your DNA,” Lena said.

 

“You’re welcome to,” Kara said, quietly.

 

“Anyway, I was wondering if you would like me to start some research in that direction, in combining human and Kryptonian DNA to make a new generation of your people.”

 

“I think… I would like that,” Kara said, quietly. “Thank you.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll be charging the DEO for my time.”

 

“Oh,” Kara said. “They won’t agree to that. Not to help me reproduce. It’s fine; it’s not necessary.”

 

“J’onn already agreed,” Lena said, astonishing Kara.

 

“Really? Why? Why would he do that?”

 

“I think it’s perhaps that he understands what you’ve lost. You both are the only people who truly understand the weight of a dead world,” Lena said, quietly. “Did you see your therapist yesterday?”

 

“I did,” Kara confirmed. “She seems nice. A bit strange, with the empath thing and all, but it was nice. To speak to someone, and not have to lie or make up stories to cover what I really mean. She’s been fully briefed, and she’s a metahuman herself, so she has no reason to turn me in or tell anyone. Plus, J’onn would wipe her mind if she tried. So it’s good to have that reassurance.”

 

Lena winced.

 

“It’s worrying, the kind of power you all seem to have between you. If any of you went bad… God, you could destroy everything.”

 

It was Kara’s turn to wince, then, and she bit her lip, ashamed.

 

“I trust you, Kara. You’re so unrelentingly good, and I know that the only reason you behaved that way was Red Kryptonite.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Kara said, stubbornly. “I told you; those thoughts were inside me. The RedK just brought it out.”

 

“Do you remember,” Lena said, conversationally, as she washed the last dish, “when Morgan Edge tried to pin that whole chemical spill thing on me, saying it was the lead in the atmosphere poisoning children?”

 

“Of course,” Kara said, puzzled. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

 

“The reason I was on that plane that night when you had to rescue me was because he kidnapped me and threw me on there. But that’s not the whole story. I went to his office that night with the intention of killing him. I had a gun to his head, Kara, and the only reason I didn’t kill him was because one of his goons knocked me out before I could pull the trigger. I woke up on the plane, and you know the rest. We all have questionable impulses; we all make choices that are wrong sometimes. I almost did something truly evil that night, and I can’t say, even now, that I regret it. We all make mistakes, Kara. We all do things that we come to regret. You didn’t _do_ any of those things, darling. You thought them, and you threatened to do them. You maybe came close; only you know how close. But you expelled that infection; you pushed that influence away, and you didn’t hurt anyone.”

 

“I would have,” Kara said, stubbornly. “I would have. I almost killed you, Lena. I thought about how I would do it. I stood there behind you thinking about whether I wanted to do it quickly or slowly, whether I would enjoy watching you suffer, watching you suffocate. I’m a monster and you shouldn’t be around me.”

 

“I choose who I spend time with,” Lena said, evenly. “I am here because I want to be. To say anything otherwise would be to rob me of my free will. If you don’t want me here because you dislike my company, or you hate me, I can leave. But if you have some ridiculous idea about keeping me safe, don’t bother. Supergirl’s a close friend. She keeps me safe.”

 

Kara closed her eyes.

 

“I wish you weren’t so…”

 

“So what?” Lena challenged. “So caring? So in love with you?”

 

“So stubborn,” Kara said, grinding her teeth.

 

“I’m independent, Kara, and I have my own ideas and I make my own decisions. I thought about this situation, this thing with us, and I made my decision. I trust in you, even if you don’t. It’s as simple as that. I wish you hadn’t had to deal with those horrible thoughts, Kara. I wish you hadn’t been poisoned with that stuff. But the truth is that you were, and now you have to live with what happened. Speak to your therapist, talk it all out. But I don’t want to have this conversation again, do you understand?”

 

Kara stared at her, astonished.

 

“I understand,” she said, blinking.

 

“Now, let’s go watch a movie and eat popcorn,” Lena said. “I want mine buttered.”

 

Kara nodded, pulling out two packets of popcorn and popping them with her heat vision. Lena looked at her, one eyebrow up, but said nothing. Kara added butter to both and salt to hers, before going to the couch and sitting down.

 

Lena took her bowl of popcorn, sticking a new movie on, a comedy about a hitman, and they laughed as the evening progressed. Kara was sober, but Lena drank a few glasses of wine.

 

“You know, when I first moved here, I thought it might be you,” Lena said, while the credits were rolling. “I hoped, actually. I hoped you and I could undo what happened between Lex and your cousin. But… then life happened, and eventually I figured that it wasn’t you. I convinced myself, really. I’m glad, even though it happened the way it did. I’m glad I know.”

 

“I’m glad you know too,” Kara said. “I’m just sorry about everything that happened.”

 

“Stop it, Kara,” Lena said. “I don’t want to hear any more apologies.”

 

“Sorry,” Kara said, on reflex. She winced.

 

Lena rolled her eyes. She turned around and kissed Kara, and it was sudden and it was hot and Kara pulled away as soon as she regained her wits.

 

“You’re not… you’ve been drinking,” Kara said.

 

“I know,” Lena said, rolling her eyes again. “It would take three times this amount to make me drunk. Now, do you want to kiss me? Because I want to kiss you, Kara.”

 

“Okay,” Kara said, blinking.

 

Lena moved back into her space, kissing her gently at first. Kara was the one to take it further, to pull Lena into her lap in almost the same position they’d been in that night, with the RedK. Lena didn’t mind, letting her hands roam, one fisting in Kara’s hair, and the other exploring her long neck. Kara made a tiny little noise, her arms wrapping around Lena, and they started to make out like teenagers, Lena slipping her tongue into Kara’s mouth and Kara grasping at Lena’s ass. They pulled apart after a little while, and Lena laid her head on Kara’s chest, both of their hearts slowing, their breath mingling.

 

“I love you,” Kara said, kissing Lena’s head.

 

“I love you too, darling.”

 

It was a place to begin, for both of them.

 

***

 

It was six months after the RedK incident, and Kara was back to her old self, saving the world on what felt like a weekly basis. Lena had come up with a cure for Sam, which was a rock on a meteor shooting through space just on the outside of Earth’s solar system. Kara’s life changed that day. She went to find the meteor, taking Alex and J’onn with her, and they found something Kara had never expected, something she’d never expected to see again. Or rather, someone.

 

Her _mother_. Somehow, Argo City had been saved. An idea of her father’s had worked out, a last-ditch attempt to save at least some of their people, an attempt that had cost him his life. Alura was beautiful; she’d hardly aged. She wasn’t the same woman she was before Krypton was destroyed, however. She was humbled. Still strong, but not with the same hard edges.

 

Those in Argo City were living on the verge of starvation, the air and the very rock they lived on slowly poisoning them. Kara made an impassioned plea to the President, and the Kryptonians were given a place on Earth, each person placed on probation and made to inject blue Kryptonite into their systems until they had proved themselves trustworthy. Kara vouched for her mother, but not for the rest of the people. She had learned, the hard way, that not all Kryptonians were honourable.

 

Sam was back in National City, and since she still had her powers, she had decided to help the DEO. Winn had designed her a costume, based on Kara’s new design, and after Sam cut her hair and used a half-mask to cover her face, she shared the weight of rescuing humans and fighting crime, human and alien, in National City.

 

Lena had been Kara’s rock through all of this turmoil, through the rediscovery of the Kryptonians and the odd pain that she felt when Kara realised she wasn’t the last. She held Kara when she cried the first time Sam saved someone, because even though Kara was relieved by the assistance, it still felt like a loss, someone else being just as strong as her, someone truly Kryptonian and good and kind and just as beloved, now, to National City as Kara was herself. Lena was Kara’s support, her cornerstone. Her soulmate. Kara couldn’t deny that, not anymore, and she had no intention of trying. She had already spoken to Alura and received her mother’s blessing to formally court Lena, in the Kryptonian way. Alura had gained a new lease on life since coming to Earth, and she and and Sam were training together regularly to truly gain mastery over their new powers.  Alex, after a brief dalliance with Kara’s co-worker, was now dating Sam, and was delighted by having Ruby in her life once again.

 

“Are you okay, darling?”

 

Kara turned from her apartment window where she’d been engrossed in watching the rain, letting the soft noise dull her hearing and making her feel cocooned and safe.

 

“I’m fine,” she said, turning to Lena, smiling. “I didn’t expect you so soon.”

 

“I was bored with work, and I wanted to see you,” Lena said, eyes bright.

 

“You left work early to see me? I consider myself privileged,” Kara said, smiling.

 

“I did,” Lena said, archly. “Now, fetch me some food, Kryptonian, and find me some more of that wonderful show with the wild west robots. I want to see Evan Rachel Wood kick ass.”

 

Kara smiled again, calling her local Thai place to order some of their favourites before searching out Westworld on her DVR. They settled together on the couch, Lena making small noises of contentment as Kara massaged her feet.

 

“I missed you,” she said, quietly, and Kara leaned over to kiss her on the temple.

 

“I missed you too,” she said.

 

“How did things go today? Did your mother pass your tests?”

 

Kara nodded, smiling proudly.

 

“She saved all the civilians, incapacitated the bad guys, all without hurting a single bystander or causing any property damage. J’onn is almost ready to let her patrol with us. She’ll stay with me until she gets the hang of things.  It’s amazing. She’s just… so alive, Lee. She’s like a new woman. After what happened with Krypton, after making those mistakes, she had… wilted, I guess. She didn’t trust her judgement much anymore, though she still had to make decisions for everyone. But now, she’s just so happy. Our people are settled, they’re all coming in weekly for their blue K shots. Great job with that, by the way. It’s just… I never could have imagined any of this, before.”

 

“It must be a little overwhelming though, huh?” Lena asked, stroking her arm gently.

 

“Yeah,” Kara said. “Arlene is helping me with that. Dealing with the survivor’s guilt, only to find out I’m not the last anymore. And having my mom back, and on Earth. It is overwhelming, but in the best way. And we have all of Argo City’s tech, which will change the world. I don’t think I could be happier.”

 

Lena smiled at her, leaning over to kiss her softly.

 

“I’m sure you can. Give it time, Zor-El.”

 

The doorbell rang then, and Lena got up to pay the delivery guy. They ate while watching with dropped jaws as Westworld went from insane to batshit, and afterwards they snuggled up, the television making noise in the background.

 

“I love you,” Kara said, quietly. Something in her had decided this was the time.

 

“I love you too,” Lena said, smiling. “Is everything okay?”

 

Okay, so maybe she was a little nervous.

 

“I… I spoke to my Mom, a few weeks back. About you.”

 

Lena stiffened. She and Alura got on really well, both women possessing incredible intelligence and strong opinions, and they often clashed on subjects to do with ethics, Alura usually playing devil’s advocate and Lena getting frustrated by it all until she came up with something irrefutable to prove her point. Kara loved to watch them debate; it was breath-taking. Her mother was even displaying an impish side, teasing Lena and Kara both and enjoying their blushes. But Lena still harboured the fear that Alura would reject her, would decide she wasn’t good enough for Kara.

 

“I asked her if I could court you. With a view to marriage,” Kara said, playing with Lena’s fingers. “It’s part of our tradition. We each ask our own parents, and if they give their permission, then we can go ahead and began courting, learning the Girod together and eventually we would wed in front of Rao and our families and friends. I’m not asking you to do any of that, the religious part. I know it’s not something you believe. But even under the influence of Red Kryptonite, my soul knew that it wanted you as its bondmate, Lena Luthor. And I would like nothing more than to call you my wife, my love, my beautiful fireflower.”

 

Lena’s eyes were bright, shining with tears of joy.

 

“I love you, Kara. And I accept. All of your traditions, anything you want. I love you and I never want to be apart from you. I want to bear your children and grow old, I want to die while you hold me in those strong arms. I never thought I could have something like this, but now that I do… I will never let you go, I promise.”

 

Kara took a deep breath.

 

“Khap zhao rrip, Lena-te,” she breathed. “I love you, my Lena.”

 

She started making Lena’s marriage bracelet that same evening, after they’d made sweet and exuberant love and Lena had passed out. She made a new House sigil, an amalgamation of the L-Corp logo and the El Crest, and she decided to collect jewels from the bowels of the Earth if she had to, opals to capture the colour of Lena’s skin, emeralds and sapphires for those changeable eyes, rubies for those lips. It would be a masterpiece once it was finished, and no-one would ever be able to look at Lena Luthor again and see anything but a queen.

 

For the first and last time in her life, Kara Zor-El Danvers thanked Rao for Red Kryptonite, for its power to strip away all pretences and inhibitions and make her tell the truth to herself and to others. It was perhaps one of the worst things that had ever happened to her, but now, sitting in bed next to the slumbering body of her wife-to-be, she couldn’t find it in her to be anything but grateful. She was happy, and she was loved, and if that had to happen in such a horrifying way, then so be it. Lena was hers, and she was Lena’s, and as mixed a blessing as it had been, she wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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